Of failed relationships and dogs

If 2009 is my worst year, September is my worst month. Too many bad things happened to me but I am thankful we only have 1 day left for September. Hopefully, October would be a better month for me.

I am getting more and more de-motivated with my work. Just before I left for my RDs, I emailed my immediate superior for confirmation of my new work schedule and I did not get any so I followed the original schedule that he has given me. I really had a hard time waking up for my 12AM shift but I really forced myself to report to my new team only to find out that my deployment to the team was put on hold.

So here I am at 1AM with nothing to do except assist agents occasionally. More or less this has been my pattern for the past week and frankly, I am not used to so much inactivity. I should be thankful that I am getting paid for doing nothing but doing nothing makes the hours seem longer. As I have always said, patience is a virtue that I never had.

O and I are decidedly on speaking terms now. I could never stay mad with him for long but so many things came between us and it would always be there. I am not sure if it will ever be resolved. The pain is still there and I don’t think it will ever go away. It’s sad really but I believe it’s for the best if I move on with my life and not expect anything at all. I have also realized that the apology that I have been dying to hear from him would never materialize.

He also needs to do a lot of serious growing up and contemplate on what he really wants to do with his life and resolve issues that makes his life complicated as it is/

Probably, this is just a test for us. It could also mean the end of the road for us. I’m teary eyed again and I could not help it. Just thinking about what we’ve been through for the past ten years is no mean feat. We weathered a lot of storms because we had each other.

I actually detest melodrama, but in this case I just could not help it. A good friend of mine, Macky, told me that the best way for me to move on is to find someone new and he just happen to conveniently have someone in mind, his good friend James.

My feelings are still raw and I have so many excess baggages. Though nice the offer is I have to decline. It would not be fair and I don’t want to lead anyone on.

On the lighter note………

Earlier today, Dylan and Dion finally got their long awaited puppy they named Princess. To see the joy in my kids’ faces is really priceless. I already told them that Princess will be staying in our laundry area but they sneaked her in while I was resting. They would have succeeded in making me unaware of what they had done had the puppy not pooped in my mom’s room. Twice.

I told the kids that they would need to let the puppy out twice a day so she could do her thing and not mess our house. I hope the yaya was listening while I was talking to my kids so I would not be repeating any instructions to her tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I would need to buy a leash for the puppy as well as dog shampoo. I would also pray hard that the puppy will never find her way to my room.